Is sex necessary? And why we feel the way we do

'Sometimes there are moments, periods and years in your life that are a one off. You can't retrieve them, replace them. You simply have to think of them with a massive smile on your face'

Wise words from my friend Sally in my leaving card accompanying the amazing photo book she'd created filled with too many photos of karaoke nights out, school trips and students. Not together. So many people said so many lovely things I feel more inspired to spread the love.

My last day at the best school I have ever worked in was one to remember. Love was the theme of the day with even our Principal talking about love in the final assembly. So many incredible people who all work there because they believe that all young people no matter where they live and whatever their background deserve the best chance in life. That love that they show the students can sometimes be tough love but it is always love. Big love.

Like Sally said, to be part of something so incredible - setting up an Outstanding school with the most amazing group of staff I have ever worked with has been special. Though it is so good, as I said in my leaving speech, it almost feels bad to stay. And I would like to grow a little piece of The City Academy elsewhere. All children deserve the best chance in life.

As Margaret Mead said ...
'Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it's the only thing that ever does.' Everyone has that super power - to change the world around you. It's just whether you choose to use it.

In fact Mead was an impressive woman. Born in 1901 she was the most famous anthropologist of her time. Her work across the world led her to the conclusion that 'human diversity is a resource, not a handicap, that all human beings have the capacity to learn from and teach each other.'* Her research challenged views at the time that saw so called primitive societies as inferior. She clearly had love for human beings and understanding that it is conventions and cultures that shape our lives not our genes. She was also one of the first people based on her research in New Guinea to propose that 'masculine and feminine characteristics reflected cultural conditioning'.* Radical at the time.

Mead had an unconventional personal life with three marriages, close female relationships and a life travelling the world. Some of her suggestions were seen as madly radical at the time including paying students to go to college (Educational Maintenance Allowance anyone?), while another was to have a "trial" of "student" type marriage. Who would do that?

So changing the world? Cycling round it? The other quote that another friend posted on Facebook recently was by the author of the very wholesome Charlotte's Webb and the lesser known 'Is sex necessary? And why we feel the way we do'.*** (Look it up - it's a bizarre spoof on sex manuals of the 20s) - E. B. White. He said .. 'I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.' True indeed.

So cycling round the world ... An indulgent hedonistic year, a great anthropomorphic study or a test of whether sex is necessary?

Only the year will tell.

And a final note to everyone at The City Academy. Thank you. You have left me with a massive smile on my face.

*http://www.interculturalstudies.org/Mead/biography.html

**http://www.webster.edu/~woolflm/margaretmead.html

***http://www.harpercollins.com/browseinside/index.aspx?isbn13=9780060733148

Be prepared and no long goodbyes

I took my bike to Leeds. I was going to celebrate the christening of baby Emily whose Dad, Andy I have known since our days in Labour students. And take the opportunity to stay with my old friend Gail and her two boys.

I learned two lessons.

I took my bike. Why? Because these days I take my bike. It just seems like the thing to do. You take your bike you have adventures. It just happens like that.

On the way there I had failed to prepare 'then prepare to fail' - as was repeated several times at school this week. I was not aware that I needed a reservation for the Kona. Fortunately I'd arrived in good time - or so I thought.

I was already at platform 2 because I'd chatted to the nice man at the ticket barriers who told me in advance. Result. I walked the whole length of the platform and was then told I was the wrong end of the train. So I walked to the other end only to be told by Mr Officious I needed a reservation. 'What can I do?' I pleaded. He suggested I go to the ticket office.

Challenge Aneka. I jogged with bike with 10 minutes to spare. I jumped the queue explaining to everyone and probably looking a bit mad why I believed this was justified. Everyone was very British so said nothing. Go the Brits. The man at the desk told me there were no spaces available for my bike. Agh. 'What can I do?' (enforced empathy) He took pity and wrote me out a reservation. I sped back to the train, my friend the ticket barrier man quickly opened the gates.

Mr Officious looked quite shocked. I showed him my blue ticket - like Jason I had got the golden fleece. 'Sorry. We are full. I have taken my quota of 5 bikes. How did you get this?' I did my best are-you-flipping-joking-me-turbot face aware that any anger would get my bike nowhere near his carriage. Again I asked 'What can I do?' and looked very upset. I offered to take the bike apart - which given i had no tools was a bold promise. Anything to get on the train.

And then he appeared -with a beard like Santa and the kindness of Jesus. They had a quiet chat and then, with 3 minutes before the train departed, Mr Officious changed his mind. He said one of the bikes was off at Grantham so he could squeeze it on. Inside there was enough room for a one bedroom London flat and certainly plenty of room for my bike. Mr Officious pointed out that he hadn't been being awkward it was just the rules. 'I was only following orders'. I told him not to worry and said I was only pleased to be on the train and that i would make sure that had a reservation in future. I hoped that my thankfulness would encourage him to bend the rules in future.

* * *
So lesson one was being prepared and arrive early for trains and planes.

Lesson two - I have also worked out I really do not like goodbyes. I prefer the false promise of a see you soon rather than a full on - see you in over a year. Every weekend seems to have a lot of these at the moment. I keep having to rush out doors so there are no protracted tears. Going away for a year really does focus the mind on the value of people to your happiness even if you regularly go 6 months without seeing some of those people. I've always thought about goodbyes that they are a fuss about the wrong bit. It is the bit in the middle that counts. Not the end. You can never say the right thing.There is only one other time in my life when I have left my network when I moved to London for university. That was tough. Going from everyone to no one. I've made sure I haven't done it since. So I do feel quite brave and I am a bit more of a grown up now and I have got a cycling buddy to chivvy me along.

4 weeks to go ....